Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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