Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize