i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
