I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
