I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
