Porn is love you can see.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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