I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Do vagina's smell?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
