Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
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