So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
