This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
