I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
