I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
My liver just had a heart attack.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
