Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We are two peas in an std pod
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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