I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
is this the sara with the beer cane?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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