just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Houston, we have a blender
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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