Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
All I want is dick and wine.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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