She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
