she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I am available for nakedness
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
