I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
