piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
