I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
