I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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