so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
