great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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