i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
