just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
