hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
where am i from again
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
