so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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