all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
