is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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