it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
