So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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