i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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