At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
