nutella sex= disaster
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
