you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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