very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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