As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
