Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize