Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
