He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
