everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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