Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
