Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
