Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Randomize