he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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