oh god the rape fog is back!
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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