Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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