he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
