Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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