She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
