I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
