Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
