I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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