just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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