He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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