I'm lost and stupid without you.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
