I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize