he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
