Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
