Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
