I could have mohawked her pubes.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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